Monday, September 24, 2012

I Dare You...

At my church we are in a serious called "I Dare You" every Sunday our Pastor challenges us with different dares so to speak.  Yesterday's message was so powerful and spoke to my inner core.
He challenged us to dream again.  Are there dreams that you have let die?  Or dreams that are dormant or maybe even forgot about? Well, I know when I was a young girl I had a dream I would walk around saying that when I grew up I was going to be a Lawyer.  I remember being so specific I was going to go to Harvard Law school and live in Boston.  Too many this might seem like a pretty normal dream and there is a possibility that it may have come true.  However, here I was this Mexican-girl first generation with parents who spoke little to no English. I was just happy that I was attending college.  Seeing how I was the first in my family and girl at that.  That dream might of come true, but as life would have it didn't.  The moment that my Father passed away many of my dreams died as well.  My life had been tainted with this dark reality.  My hero, my biggest encourager was no longer going to be in my life to guide and support me along the way. 

I did make it to college and still had hopes of going to law school, but I soon realized that Political Science as my major wasn't for me.  You see I had one bad teacher that discouraged me and really made me feel like I was too stupid to even think about getting into law school.  I decided to pursue Journalism instead, but quickly after graduating I knew that I didn't want to spend my entire life talking about depressing, bad news.  I say all this because it makes me think of so many dreams that I had that I let die in my life. So many times we let our circumstances dictate our reality.

For many years I was okay with being mediocre.  I just figured this was the deck I was dealt with and I just have to deal with it.  My inner core wanted to believe for greater things, but the other voice was always louder.  Unfortunately, I spent many years listening to that voice. My life changed though the minute that I encountered my Prince and true hero Jesus Christ!  His voice began to speak truth to me and all of a sudden my soul became alive! I realized that I had been deceived into believing these lies about my life that were not true.

Source: via Eunice on Pinterest

I knew that I had a purpose in my life. God began to give me new dreams and visions greater than I could ever had imagined.  I knew that I wanted to be that voice to the voiceless. Two years ago I had the opportunity to travel to India and when I came back from that trip I was really moved by what I saw.  God began to speak to me and he began to give me a clear vision.  My heart broke for the woman and girls in India.  God put it on my heart to begin a ministry to help woman in human-trafficking.  One of the reasons I wanted to be a lawyer was to fight for people and their injustices.  I may not have a law degree, but that part of me has never died.  I know that desire God placed in my heart. My dream is to help women who society had forgotten about.  To go into those dark places where many are afraid to go.  To fight for those who are living in despair and that are hopeless. 

"When God gives you a dream, He is more interested in who you will become...than you getting your dream." 
-P. Sergio De La Mora

When my Pastor shared the quote above I really began to think about it.  Because to be quite honest I have been a little discouraged because my "dreams" have not come into existence yet and I stared to question who am I becoming?  I can tell you this much I have become a Girl who desires to leave a legacy with her life.  I have become someone who will not give up on people no matter how long it takes.  I have become someone who knows her purpose.  I have become someone who has a heart full of compassion and love.  I have become someone who has been healed and fully restored.  I am a woman who will use her voice to see others be set free.  No one deserves to be a slave or a prisoner against their own free will.  I have become someone who will  fight for others no matter how long it takes to see justice prevail! There are 27 million slaves that need our voice! 

My question to you is will you dream again 
and who are you becoming?

Thursday, September 13, 2012

My life be like...

So obviously it's been like forever since I have written on this blog that seriously I forgot that I had it. Okay so I have decided that I am just going to be totally transparent on here!  I seriously need this outlet to express all that I have been feeling and thinking.  I still have my journal, but I haven't been that good about keeping up with it!  Do you ever feel like you just want to scream? Well that's how I have been feeling lately!  And if you do scream than go ahead it's all good.  A good scream every now and then is good for your soul.

I talk about this all the time how patience is a virtue and it definitely is!  I have been in this holding place forever or at least it seems like that!  I mean like seriously how long can a girl wait.  You know when you just know that your life has a purpose and you were created for more, but then why are you just waiting?  I don't have it all figured out yet, all I know that in the midst of my own personal battle I do know that great things are in store for this Girl!!  I know that there is so much to learn in this season. I know that God is challenging me.  My approach has to change.  It's not that I don't believe, but I think He wants to show me something that I have never seen or learned before. 

I think we all come to a point in our life when we have to fight for what we want! For what we believe in.  And sometimes our biggest enemy is our self.  It could be our past failures. What people have said about us.  or even what we believe about our self.  You see for me it's not the fear of failure, but the fear of actually succeeding!  Trust me I am quite familiar with failure.  I know what it is to fail time and time again.  To see your dreams come crashing down right in front of your eyes and there is nothing you can do!  But one thing that I have learned is that the dreams we have for our self don't even compare to the ones God has in store for us.  That's what I'm waiting for.  This is one of my favorite verses that I hold on:

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,"-Eph 3:20

Never did I imagine that my life would be where I am at today.  I figured by this point I would be married, with a child (maybe), have a house or something and be in my career.  Well obviously none of those happened , yet.  Not married. No kids. No house (I have an apartment) and I'm definitely not a lawyer. Seven years ago my life took a complete turn.  Yes a complete 180! And well that's when this "new" journey began...

This post is already longer than I had anticipated so I'm going to have to cut it short.  If you're wondering why I named my blog "Beautifully Broken," I'll give you the short condensed version, but I think that in our brokenness there is beauty.  I use to think that being broken was a bad thing, but I think that in that state of being broken you find your true self.  The beautiful person you were created to be!  Well I hope you will follow me on this journey that I'm on.  Just to warn you I can be a bit much at times and even a bit all over the place, but I hope from these post you can relate, but also leave encouraged!  So that's a little bit of where I'm at right now.  Until next time I'll leave you with this quote:

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson